I know a man who is telling me how full of the Spirit he is, how he can't get enough of reading the scriptures, and how he can't stop studying and praying. I know he has a day job and is busy a lot of nights. My question and curiosity is, if his wife feels neglected. If my husband were spending all of his free time in the Bible and praying, then I'm wondering how I'd feel. I'm sure I'd be glad he's getting so close to God and is so filled in the Spirit, but I'm pretty sure that I'd be a little jealous. I'm just wondering if there's a way to spend too much time with God when it's providing no time with your spouse. I don't know how God feels about this. I have nothing to compare this to except hobbies, so it's a little hard for me to decide how I'd be in this situation, but I wonder if it would be ok with me because my husband is becoming such Godly person and is so full with His words that I simply don't care that he isn't spending time with me. Anyone have any opinions about this? I know that God is to be first in your life, and if you don't love God with all you have and all you are, then you can't really love anyone else as well as you could. But what exactly is all you have and all you are? Is it every minute invested in studying, praying and reading, or is it living your life in a Godly manner, working through things with His help and using his words to make life what it is? I know the answer to that, but it's such a gray area, I think. Is it? What do you think?
One time at church (not our current church) Dusty and I were keeping the nursery. There was one little girl who wasn't a big talker yet. She cried from the moment she was left, til the moment she was picked up. Every question you asked her, she'd reply no. Do you want to ___? No. Do you want a toy? No. Do you want a drink? No. What's your name? No. Then Dusty started calling her No. It still makes me laugh. He brought it up the other day and it made me laugh, yet again. That was just a story for your amusement.
An extra side note: I need to start exercising again. I am not enthusiastic about this because it will require me to get up earlier or to give up the time in naps. I do not want to give up that time because if I exercised then, I would have to shower mid-day, which means reapplying makeup most days. I will not be doing that. I guess if I'm going to do it, it'll be first thing in the morning...which means I won't do it. Ugh...herein lies my problem.
Jennie:
ReplyDeleteI hate to just fire off a comment without giving it some thought, but here goes anyway. God gives us responsibilities and opportunities. We have responsibilities to ourselves, to our family, to our community and our country. We also have opportunities galore, and one of those is the freedom we have to learn more about God. God also expects us to balance our responsibilities with our opportunities and not slight one over the other.
A fellow who ignores his wife and family in order to study God's word in all his free time is not balancing. Why would God be pleased with all the reading and studying and praying if it is at the expense of the family that God has also given him? If I were this fellow's wife, I would feel not only neglected and jealous, but I would be angry as well. Is it a good thing for this fellow to cause another Christian to feel jealous towards God? I don't think so.
I would be much interested in your and others opinions here.
More later...taking wife out to dinner.
My first thought is that the husband (or wife, as the case may be) should invite the spouse to spend time with God together. I would have a hard time saying anything negative about spending loads of time in the Scripture and prayer, but that doesn't have to be an exclusive activity. And from what I observe, and hope for, spouses who worship God together privately can be very much united that way.
ReplyDeleteI mean, if it's a matter of one spouse has to stay with the kids...then that needs to be talked about, and arranged. Or maybe bring the kids into it too!
Basically, I think it would be best if that situation drew people together rather than apart. If the motivated spouse doesn't want the other spouse to be a part of it, that's a problem. And if the left out spouse doesn't want to join, that's also a problem. After those are addressed, I say everyone should just go for it.
All things in moderation may or may not apply here but there is a possibility that there would be some validity to that consideration. I've often seen lots of arrogance associated with people who make the comments that this man is making. Sin is sin whether it's avoiding God's word, avoiding one's family, arrogance over physical capabilities or arrogance over closeness to God. Closeness to God is never the problem but my will to impress you with my closeness to God can become very suspicious. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and a second is like unto it. Love your neighbor as yourself. And you say, "who is my neighbor?" Possibly the wife of your youth. The Bible encourages those who are married to unbelievers to stay with them so that they may come to believe. Never does God's word and its study and devotion to it drive people particularly believers and spouses apart. I think the man needs an attitude/ego/humility check where his "complete devotion to and hunger for God and His word are concerned" How's this for radical?
ReplyDeleteI like Bill's comments. Moderation in all things is key to the discussion here. I did not sense that the husband was being moderate in his attention to God, rather he was slighting his wife in favor of God. I also like the comment about a person's will to impress another with his closeness to God. No problem with being close to God, but using it as an ego crutch or as an excuse to avoid other, equally important responsibilities (e.g. wife and family) has no merit in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteBill, you are not being radical when you suggest an attitude/ego/humility check. I agree completely. Maybe we are both radicals?
Trisha's suggestion to invite the other half to partner in the study/devotion/prayer is fine, but usually this is not what the other half really wants. They want the attention and love and affection (and break from motherly duties) that are part of the marriage agreement and the husband-wife bond. From the tone of Jennie's question, I guessed that the wife would be feeling neglected and would be resentful. If her husband is causing her resentment, he is not loving his wife as he should, nor is he loving God as he should either.