I find no humor in myself. I just knocked down two Christmas tins that were sitting on the stairs and made the most horrendous noise, while my two children are going to sleep/sleeping. Did I laugh? No. Not in the least. Actually, it made me so angry with the whole situation...not myself, mind you, but with the fact that the tins were still there and that there's so much crap on our stairs that I couldn't help but knock them down. If someone else had done it, it would've been hilarious. Someone else kicks something or falls: hilarious. Me: death sentence for anyone that laughs. Is it pride? Maybe, but I just do not find humor in my failings. I never have, and the outlook is not promising for the future.
I am extremely angry. I have been underneath it all for a few days now. I don't know why. I don't really care. I'm just angry, and there's nothing that has happened currently that can fix it. Aren't you glad you're not me?
Jennie, you sound pretty stressed out right now and I wish I could just give you a hug and tell you that it will be OK. You've had a pretty tough week or two. A cold house, your dad having medical treatment, a whirlwind trip to Peoria, two kids to manage, probably nowhere near enough money, music lessons to give, things to bake for a little egg money, no cable for the cooking channel and a million other things that I don't know about. Don't be too hard on yourself, in what matters you are doing a great job. And there a lot of people who love you. You have a great husband, great parents, great friends. We all love you.
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P.S. it is for these times that God gave us red wine....
It is in these times, when we least feel like it, to call on God for help. It looks like the rest of the week is working out ok. I hope so. Love you.
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