I'm NOT A CHAIR!!! I'm not a jungle gym, and I'm not your personal carrier, an encyclopedia, your own personal Cha Cha replier, or your Kleenex!!! I know I'll miss these days, but today is not one of them. Nor are you my hair brush, my masseuse, my court composer, or my television show. I'm not desiring to have my hair combed by your fingers, my back or legs massaged by your elbow or knees, to be serenaded with worse than 20th century music (as if there is such a thing), or entertained by watching you jump over the paper or diaper and feed your pretend baby again.
While I love my children, I do not look forward to Mondays because that means I have 5 days of almost incessant time when I am with these two lovelies, and I get very little time with my husband for that same number of days. They're the greatest kids in the world, I'm convinced, and I know if I had any other two children then I would no longer be with them because I'd be committed. Not to the task at hand either. Whew. Felt good to get that out.
I'm tempted to turn off my phone and computer during the times when they're awake, and maybe without the pull of distraction, I'll be more willing to play and interact. I'm determined to make things better in my head with this stuff because it's obviously my problem, since these are the greatest kids in the world. I can guarantee you that I'm not the greatest mom in the world.
Jennie, you are not alone. I will never be able to understand how a mother can spend whole days on end with small children and still maintain sanity. I know, I know, this is supposed to be part of being a good mother, and it is. It is also a huge sacrifice, and the only consolation is that now you know what your own mother went through.
ReplyDeleteSurely it is possible to love one's children totally but not want to be with them alone all day every day. Mothers need a break. Once the kids get past napping, your day has no breaks and you get pretty ragged.
Re-think the idea of home schooling your kids...having them go off to school will give you some personal time. I think you need that time and that it will be good for you. You have given your kids such a head start already that they will excel in whatever school they are in. Can a child be really happy and well adjusted if his/her mother is a basket case of nerves?
I know, this is really none of my business, but I love you and I worry about you getting really stressed. Forgive this old man for sticking his opinions in when not asked for.
BTW, I think you are a GREAT mother!
Tommy
I'm sorry for your frustration, but your Cha Cha reference made me laugh out loud. :)
ReplyDeleteTommy-Feel free to comment on whatever. I'm interested in different opinions. And it's always great if you end with telling me you think I'm a great mother. :)
ReplyDeleteI do pretty well controlling my nerves around my kids, or so I think. I just have times when I go away and have them stay in the living room and play for the 42 seconds it takes Seth to wander into where I am. But those 42 seconds are nice. I think as he gets a little more independent, then things will level out a bit. Hannah will sit and read for an hour, if the book is long enough, interesting enough, and the situation allows. Then she gets up ready to play though. She's an amazing little girl. Seth, on the other hand, is equally amazing, it's just he doesn't want to sit that long doing something by himself. He's way more codependent. I'm trying to help him out of that, but he's a second child and has always had a play mate. Hannah is very easily self-entertained. I'll work more on that with Seth. Good talk. :)
Tricia-Thanks, that comment was added just for you. :) No, really. I was thinking it, but wasn't going to add it, but did at the last second because I knew you'd appreciate it. :) Thanks for stepping up.