I had an ex-boyfriend that told me frequently that I was way too sensitive about everything. Anything he said made me upset, or angry, or sad. Turns out he was actually a huge jerk, but at the time I didn't know that, but that thought stuck in my head. Now whenever things out of the blue upset me, I think, "Man, I'm being way too sensitive about that." Most of the time I'm right. Maybe he was pretty insightful...and a huge jerk.
I just saw a video posted on facebook of people we're close with at a preschool gym. Granted I just took our kids to a similar place yesterday, but I was actually quite hurt that they didn't invite (OK, I typed "me" initially, but then I realized I should've typed "us", but then I realized that I'm not hurt that they didn't invite the kids, just that they didn't invite ME! Self-centered much?) me to go with them. I know they went out to lunch afterward because I saw they'd talked about that a couple of days ago. Now, it's no secret that I stay at home all day with our kids, so I just feel like it would've been nice to be invited. Maybe I have to have my husband at home during the day in order to be invited? I don't know. It's not like I'm that bent out of shape about missing the company of the husbands, but it just makes me start thinking unhealthy things about myself. Is it my personality? Is it my disciplining of my kids? Is it because my kids are older by a little bit? Is it because you just simply don't enjoy being with me? See. Unhealthy.
C'est la vie...I guess.
We're going to the library tomorrow. Books love me (can I get an amen?). I hope it's a good time.
I think I'm a needy high maintenance friend. I want a friend that is only friends with me, and is there whenever I want to go somewhere or do something, but then gives me space too. I don't want her to go and do things without asking me if I want to go, but I only want her to do things I like doing, and be on my schedule? Is that too much to ask? Yes?!? Oh. Maybe I just need a nice nanny. She can tag along with everything we do and everywhere we go, and I can talk to her. And she can play with my kids. Yes. This is a nice setup. I'll have to see about those free nanny services...ooooh wait...that would probably not be what I want. Never mind. Scrap the plan. We'll have to come up with another plan tomorrow night, Pinky.
There are people who are considered "hyper-sensitive". I think it's something that is really coming out all of a sudden in the psychological world. I've seen lots of posts and magazine articles about it. I'm sensitive myself. You get one of two reactions from me in a highly-sensitive moment: a tongue lashing OR a burst into tears. Usually it's the tears. And not because I'm a blithering idiot. That's just how it works...unfortunately. I feel your sensitivity...and assumed neediness...and instead of a nanny I would like a maid. SNAP! Ok, back to reality. :)
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice if things did not upset you out of the blue...but then you would be a pretty bland person wouldn't you? I think it is good that you are sensitive, that means your "feelers" are working OK. It would not be good to assume insensitivity or uncaring on the part of the other person though. It may be true, and there are tons of jerks around, some jerkier than others, but assuming jerkiness right off the bat sound a bit paranoiac.
ReplyDelete(That old boy friend really was a jerk..!)
You know, your kids are pretty well ahead of their peers due to your working with them and their native intelligence, and that might be a bit of a turn-off to some other parents. I think, if this is true, that it is a small price to pay for giving your children a real head start on life.
Are you really a high-maintenance friend or is that just wishful thinking? I cannot visualize you as a high maintenance friend. A sensitive friend, an intelligent one, but high maintenance? Naw....you are just being critical of yourself. Remember the old book "I'm OK, You're OK"? Well, you're OK.
Tommy
Amen!
ReplyDeleteI get your Pinky reference now!
Probably you are too sensitive, and I say that because I am too. Here's a story of me being stupid: I used to go over to the Monahan's house most Tuesday nights, uninvited, but they seemed ok with it. Then this week they decided to make Tuesdays an official all college kids night at their house, including a bunch of their friends that I don't know. Immediately I thought, "Oh. They didn't like me showing up unannounced, and they're tired of just me, so they're trying to get other people over there too."
I know that is stupid. But a part of me still believes it, and always will.
Really what I've realized is that people just DON'T THINK ABOUT ME as much as I think they do. People aren't shunning or purposefully ignoring me....they're just so caught up in their own lives that I am not in the forefront of their brain. Which is a slightly better form of exclusion?