Toys and More

We have so many toys.  SO many toys!  I've gone through the kids' toys tonight and gotten over 2-13 gallon garbage bags full of toys to give away.  Hannah gave me the OK on several of them before bed, but I've since collected another entire bag, so I'm going to check with her and Seth tomorrow about whether or not the others are OK.  I would just give them away, but they're not mine to give.  The name on the gift tag didn't say Jennie.  It said either Seth or Hannah.  I can't just go and give away their stuff.  That's not fair to them.  I wouldn't want people picking through my stuff and taking away whatever they want, so I'll have them sort tomorrow, and we'll take them somewhere that can give them away.  (Steps off unintentional soapbox.)  I wonder where I should take them...

There's a homeless shelter for women, but I know they don't do a bunch of toys because the women are only allowed to stay one year, so if they give their kids a big Christmas one year, then the mother will feel obligated to do it again the next year and feel badly when they can't (or so I've been told).  There's a place called WRAP, which is a place for raped and abused women, and occasionally men.  Women go up there for support and advise, and clothes.  They also do give out furnishings, if a woman moves out from an abusive situation and has no means to get anything.  I know they take toys, but I don't know if they'll take THIS many toys.  I may just have to divide them up.  There's also a place called the Carl Perkins Center, but I have no idea what they do, I've just heard of people taking stuff to them.  So I have options, but I don't know which ones will work out.  Guess I'll call and see.

We're going to MOPS tomorrow, and have been assigned a woman, from the Dream Center, and her children to buy gift for.  Well, on the woman's list for our table was size 8 boots, perfume, earrings, necklace, scarf, Girls 2T outfit, and Boys 5T outfit.  Well I was going to email about the girl's outfit, but someone beat me to it.  Then the scarf, same thing, then the perfume, same thing.  I wasn't going to do the boots, but someone took those anyway.  Then yesterday the woman heading it up called me and asked if I'd go buy the Dream Center woman some earrings and a necklace.  I have to admit, I was angry.  I was SO angry.  I mean, you're homeless what do you need with jewelry?  Aren't there a million other things you might need other than a necklace and earrings?  I'm still baffled, but I got them for her anyway.  I found a really great set that is beautiful and was inexpensive, so I got it.  I can't imagine what she feels, and I'm so thankful that I don't have to.  I'm trying to hard to put myself in those shoes, and I'm sure that if I got something beautiful for Christmas, then it would make me feel special.  I'm glad to be doing something for someone else, but I'm dealing with bitterness in my heart about that and a lot of things.  I'm hoping that this all changes, but I feel like I've got some more admitting to do.

I'm angry.  I carry around anger in my heart almost constantly.  I'm always expecting too much of people, and what they do, or don't do, for me.  I feel so bitter when someone shoots down an idea, or opinion, or viewpoint of mine that I've thoroughly researched, and know that my way is best FOR ME.  It may not be for them, but don't make me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, when I know it isn't.  I think a lot of this is who shoots it down too.  If that person is not educated on the topic and can't form a well structured opinion, then I have no desire to discuss anything with that person, and it irritates me.  When I listen to that person's opinion, they listen to mine, and then they promptly redirect the conversation toward another area without giving any credit, or even acknowledgment to me or my opinion, then it makes me bitter.  I'm dealing with bitterness today.  I was totally shot down in this manner this morning, and who the person is made it worse.  It's not like I hold this person is high regards or anything, but...never mind, it's just frustrating.  The rest are just details. 

Pride, Tricia.  Here's my pride.  I'm an educated person.  I research basically everything.  My kids are the most well-behaved children I have ever encountered.  Why would someone NOT want my advice?  Why?  Because I'm a lowly person, and I have not my experience to account for, and I'm not as great as I like to think I am.  My pride is thinking my opinions and advise should be intensely desired and sought after.  When it's not, I'm offended.  For me this is soul-baring stuff.

Our pastor confronted us on this, these things I'm dealing with, today in our worship service.  Our worship leader started playing and singing a hymn after the sermon, I'm sure you know it.  "Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne" says in its refrain, "O come to my heart, Lord Jesus, there is room in my heart for Thee."  Then our pastor admitted that this weekend he confessed to God, with his wife, his bitterness and anger that have been taking up so much space in his heart.  I have that same cohabitation problem.  Bigger problem is, that kind of cohabitation, like almost every other kind, doesn't end well.  I think I know what needs to be done.  Anger, bitterness, pride, selfishness, conceit...yeah I've got a lot of space taken.

On a way different and very much lighter note, I finished a book today I got from my nephew, Caleb. It was SO good.  It's that book that tells a fictional story that involves Greek (and now Roman) mythology.  It's a great story.  Now back to our regularly scheduled Robin Cook book.

Two garbage bags...I wonder how much of my stuff I can get rid of.  It would make the moving process a whole lot easier.  I guess there's always Goodwill, and if not there, then we have a very large trash can. :)